When one has a toddler at home, one has to write about him at least once. Do justice to toddlerism. Toddlerty? Toddlerhood! Huzzah! Mine is at this time almost three years old. So plenty of toddlertastic adventures to be had. Before will start writing about those, small sidenote. Belgian beer brand that focuses on the lesser half of this world’s population has now created a soda. Soda specially for those among us in possession of ample amounts of testosterone and somewhat amusing body appendices. Most ridiculous imho. Outrage etc. But tasting it has convinced me. Men can have their special soda. Yuck, yuck, triple yuck. Silly overgenderisation by marketeers possible topic for future. So without further ado, onwards to the toddler!
Toddlers are most wonderful creatures. Living with one can be quite daunting at times, but most of the time I find it quite refreshing. Of course, my toddler is most exemplary and nothing like all those tantrummy, whiny, little pieces of horror that other parents have. Or is he? Truth be told, I think he’s just as much of a toddler than ye average toddler. My patience is notoriously lacking, however, when toddler enters the picture: patience aplenty! Very odd indeed, but there you have it. Must admit that this is quite convenient. Probably very unfair towards rest of humanity since they have to make do with amount of patience the size of an extremely small pea. But well. Hum. Humhum. Hum.
So, what makes toddlers so great? Or a nightmare. But that entirely depends on one’s point of view. And one’s Toddleristic Approach (TA). They really are Little Humans on Big Voyage of Discovery. Everything is interesting. Everything is fascinating. Everything has to be talked about. All the time. Constantly. Never a dull silent moment to be had.
Many questions have to be asked. However sometimes – very annoying! – no one answers. Luckily toddlers have a failsafe solution for such unfortunate moments of unresponsive parental units. Unresponsive = No Answer Within Half a Second of Asking Question.
Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries? Can I have some strawberries?
Unless parental unit answers question (preferably favourably) the toddler will repeat his question. Slightly annoying for sure, but in the grander scheme of things, very amusing as well. Though one has to be quite relieved that humans lose this wonderful persistence somewhere along the way to adulthood. Most do anywayz.
Suppose can’t but mention the thing that makes many people think of toddlers as Fearsome Monsters. Tantrums! Yay! When desired object/activity meets a decisive NJET from parental unit, toddlers tend to be somewhat distressed. When several attempts to get whatever it is they after all are still met with the dreaded NJET or the dreaded activity still seems to go through, most toddlers will throw in their Not So Secret Weapon. Iiiiit’s Tantrum Time! Enter the yelling, screaming, squealing and the rolling over the floor.
Found that staying calm is key to success for the tried parental unit. Stay calm. Look for the emergency exits. Run away! Seriously. Really haven´t got that many issues with tantrums. Sometimes they are plain amusing. Do take care to not let toddler show. Then again, have heard that sometimes it helps if you start laughing. Breaking the tension or something. But must admit that my toddler is quite ok when it comes to tantrums. No screaming in the supermarket because he wants this or that. No running away. Devious maternal unit always places him in the trolley. Muha. If toddler is not placed in trolley there will be running away as soon as the supermarket´s TV is in view. So, let´s just avoid that. Horror supreme has to be the washing of the hair. Seriously considered informing neighbours that we are not slaughtering a pig on Saturday evening. We are mainly washing our son´s hair. No need to call police of animal protection squad. Sigh.
Have also found that toddlers are extremely good at projecting moods. If am irritated and impatient, dealing with toddler becomes a lot more difficult. So try to avoid that as much as possible. In general avoiding things seems to work like a charm. Don´t want toddler to make a crayonic masterpiece out of the living room? Don’t leave crayons lying around when you can’t be in the same room for some time. If toddler enters state of tantrum and is in reach of a filled glass of water/juice/… Quickly remove glass! And so life gets a lot easier for everyone. Yay!
Have to admit that am extremely lazy parental unit. Can’t be bothered with endless toddleristic battles. So, toddler gets to decide. Of course there are clear limits to this democracy, but well, pick your battles. Don’t see the harm in letting toddler decide what to put on his sandwich (especially since I provide him with a selection of suitable stuffs) or what to wear.
Don’t do time-outs. As am convinced that the effect of those on the average two year old is non-existent. Don’t do stickers or other rewards. Am trying to raise a human being. If wanted to train a human being to jump through hoops or clap his flippers. Then… yes. Sorry for those who believe in the happiness of reward and punishment, I simply don’t.
So far it all seems to work rather well. Toddler can be slightly overenthusiastic and wild, but not much to be done about that. Apart from reminding him to be careful. Especially with baby sister. He adores her. And the feeling’s mutual. Amazing how the tiny people respond to one another. Cuteness galore!
Most annoying part of having toddler around is the complete and utter lack of some peace and quiet in the morning. Six am (or earlier >.< ) and there he is. Ready for wonderful new day of Big Voyage of Discovery. Unfortunately parental units aren’t. Snoozing, how I miss you! So, after some thinking and asking questions, we got him a clock. It’s a special clock that will show a star when it’s time to sleep and a sun when it’s time to get up.
Had some doubts about it because last thing I want is a toddler in distress at night. Often enough he picks up his pillow, walks to our room and snuggles himself in between the parental units. I never notice his arrival and every Slept Happily Ever After. Had visions of clock causing toddler to stare at clock in distress when waking up at night. Trapped by the image of the star like a bunny in front of a light source. Boo. But – yayness – that doesn’t seem to be the case. Now all that remains is being convinced that this clock thing will actually work.
Score so far. Out of four nights. Waking up in middle of night and moving to parental units so can’t see clock and wake up ridiculously early anywayz: TWO . Transporting clock to parents in the morning (erk, how did he manage that O.o ) and parental units forgetting to place clock back in room so that was in own bed but clock was in a different room again and thus wake up ridiculously early anywayz: ONE. Waiting for sun to appear on clock before waking everyone up: ONE. Long way to go it seems. Sigh.
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