There May Be Vegetables in the Sea. Hee, Haa, Holothuroidea!

This for a completely random title.  Large chance that rest of text will be completely random as well.  Had idea for post while was sitting on toilet.  Emphasis on sitting.  Sat there for a long time.  Just sitting.  Because people kept walking in and using the toilet next to mine. Aaargh.  Hate it.  So sat and waited.  And found out that one female colleague does not wash hands.  All of this quite irrelevant.  Except the sitting bit as it’s one of my strange habits.  Strange habits!  Yay!

We’re all so unique that we all have strange habits.  Some of those habits are not strange at all, so more uniqueness is lost.  Argh.  Trying to be different and exciting individuals turns us all into the same bland mass of unique people.  Yay us.  Different story though.  But, quite sure that quirky habits I may possess are at least shared with one other person.  Know for instance that am not only one with fear of balloons.  Yes.  Balloons.  They _are_  dangerous.  They can burst.  Shudder.  And.  Am not only one who knows that balloons are the death traps they seem to be.  Balloon Selling People think so too, otherwise, why would they put on the package that you are not allowed to orally inflate them.  Thus is the patronising of our society.  Orally inflating balloons is dangerous.  No idea when the danger started.  In my days we were still allowed to orally inflate whatever we wanted to inflate.  Please don’t microwave your cat.

First weird characteristic has been mentioned.  Am unable to do anything else but sit on toilet when have faintest idea of someone else being able to hear.  Don’t like strange toilets in general.  Especially public toilets.  Shudder.  Luckily bladder agrees with this so can spend entire day in – let’s say – a zoo without having to visit a toilet.  Huzzah.  Should the Call of Nature be too loud to ignore will make sure that toilet seat is a) cleaned and b) covered in paper.  Should paper fall in, rinse and repeat.  So.  Obviously my bladder of steel is also excellent way of saving trees.   There.  Since am supposed to be long past the age where toilet jokes are the coolest thing, will now move way from this infamous place.

What else.  Am now tilting my head in search of things that can be considered weird.  Personally find most things I do quite normal.  But some people seem to disagree.  Oh, food for instance.  Am rather particular as to what I eat.  Will virtually eat anything.  No oysters though.  Might as well eat a spoonful of snot.  Same experience and it’s free!  Not to mention the interesting colours one might have.  But again, distasteful joke.  Not acting my age here.  And cheese with cumin seeds.  If ever there was a culinary horror it must be that.  Gag.  Sputter.

Despite being quite the omnivore do think that certain things go together and many things don’t.  French fries and chocolate milk are not a good combination imho.  Some people disagree.  Apparently because in stomach it all comes together.  Yes.  But stomach does not have taste buds.  Instead is churning mass of acid.  So fail to see point of argument.  Certain spreads will only go on certain types of bread.  No cheese on white bread etc.  Certain drinks go with certain foods.  And milkshakes are dessert, not something to help you swallow a hamburger.  Not strange at all imho.

Onwards.  When walking always have to be on the left side of companion.  That is, when walking with two people.  If there are three people then am also happy to be in the middle.  Because am on left side of one person.  If am on right will start bumping into my walking buddy.  No idea why.  Probably unable to walk in a straight line.  Sister seems to have this same problem, but she always needs to be on the right.  Seriously.  Used to scare crap out of people when suddenly realized was on the wrong side.  Would jump right in front of their feet to move to right side. Now am nice enough to go behind them.  Saves a bump or two.  Very considerate indeed. 

Think we’re all a bit neurotic though.  Looking at an average toddler it seems to be something that was included in the blue prints.  If something does not go the way toddler planned… Fear the Tantrum!  Toddler will get mad or very sad because things are not happening according to their normal scheme.  It gets better with age.  But don’t think we lose this completely.  Things have a certain order.  They do!  Which is why pencils have to be in their box in the right order.  And no, that isn’t weird, that’s aesthetically pleasing and logical.  It is.  Frown.

To conclude.  There are vegetables in the sea.  Really.  Giant fields of lettuce.  Grazed by herds of dugong.  Dugong dugong.  Sea weeeeeeeeeed.  Doobiedoobiedoobie.  Sea weeeeeeeeeed.  Can eat it too.  In sushi.  Different kind than the dugong stuff though.  And around sushi most of the time.  Has special name.  Ponder.  Right.  And one more time.  All together now.  Holothuroidea!