Clugs vs. Bricks in Stomach: A Derby of the Low Countries

Can’t be that never write about this, so here we go.  Am a Belgian living in the Netherlands. Holland to most people.  Much to the chagrin of the parts of the country that isn’t Holland.  And that would be most parts.  Anywayz.

Two tiny countries next to each other.  People speak the same language.  Or better, the northern part of Belgium (Flanders) speaks the same language as the Dutchies, Dutch.  Though the same is by no means the same.  There is somewhat of a language barrier.  German German is not the same as Swiss German or Austrian German, but all are German.  Something like that. 

So, who would win the Derby of the Low Countries?

There’s national anthems.  The Brabançonne and the Wilhelmus.  Both have very catchy tunes.  But when it comes to actually singing them, the Dutch win by far.  Looking at international football matches, you’ll see a happily singing line of orange guys.  The Belgians… you’ll see a line of not so happy looking people who keep their mouth shut.  Truth be told.  If was a Belgian football player in an international match I wouldn’t look too happy either.  Unless maybe when I’d be playing against San Marino.  But even so.  So, national anthems (and football for that matter), I’ll happily give to the Dutch.  Despite the very catchy tadzjing tadzjing of the Brabançonne.

Luckily there are more important things in life than national anthems and football (yes, have the audacity to say this).  Food.  Food is the core of Belgian society.  We eat it.  We talk about it.  We make pictures of it.  Whenever there is a party to be had, there must be food.  Lots of it.  Is a disgrace to not have enough food.  Seriously.  Blame the Burgundians who ruled these lands a century or five ago.  At least, that is the excuse.  Food.  Yayness!

Surprisingly other countries don’t share the Belgian Food Obsession.  Remember my first Queen’s Day as an immigrant.  There would be an “orange reception”.  Huzzah!  Reception!  Let’s go there, husband!  Happy.  Happy.  Where are the snacks?  What do you mean?  No snacks?  But it is an orange reception.  Surely you can’t have reception without snacks?  Oh.  Unhappy.  Boo.  Unyayness indeed.

Also people have lots of premade stuff here.  There are mixes, sauces and powders for everything.  It was in the Netherlands that discovered there is something like cheese sauce out of package.  Add milk to some cheese sauce powder. Et voila.  Seriously?  Why?  Husband says “because it is easy”.  Hmph.  Stubbornly continue to make home made cheese sauce.  Ha!  So food goes to the Belgians.  Am a bit ashamed that have spent no less than three paragraphs on food.  Quod erat demonstrandum.  Hums. 

Ok.  Some more about food.  Do love the amount of eastern ingredients you can get here from the supermarket.  Much easier to make exotic food here than it was in Belgium.  So well.  It’s not all bad before I offend the Dutchies.  And no reason to be offended as it is, since we’re moving to…

Roads!  Roads.  The Nemesis of Belgium.  If you’d close your eyes upon nearing the Belgian – Dutch border, you’d immediately know it when you change countries.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Doindoingbumpbumpbump.  That’s from the Netherlands to Belgium.  Doindoingbumpbumpbump.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  And that would be the other way around.  The state of roads in Belgium can be described in one word.  Poorly.  Or maybe abysmal. 

While the Dutch work constantly to maintain, fix, replace, … highways the Belgians do no such thing.  Roads are not repaired, they are mended.  When there is a gap the size of a small country an asphalt wagon is sent over and the hole is filled.  All done.  And we’re good to go for another decade.  Sides of the roads are littered with godknowswhat.  Debris.  Dirt.  Abandoned French cars.  Driving in Belgium is an experience!  And then some minister is contemplating to ask people to pay for driving the Wonderful Belgian Highways.  Le sigh.  The other way around on the other hands… Muha.

So.  Think we have a bit of an ex aequo here.  And am not done yet.  But running out of space (and time – am in a continuum!  Wooo-oooo-oooo).  Will continue this fascinating subject some other time.  There is birthdays.  And manners.  And public transportation.  But that will have to wait.  Am sure you’re all quivering with anticipation.  Yayness!